Feeling insecure is nothing more than experiencing insecure thoughts. Insecure thoughts tend to make us feel anxiety, fear, discomfort, or unease.
Understanding how our experience of life works means waking up to the fact that we are always feeling our thinking. Our thoughts create our feelings, always and only.
Insecure thoughts, like all thoughts, feel really real. They feel like they are informing us of the outside world; that they’re the effect of whatever circumstance is causing our insecurity.
The gift of consciousness brings our thinking to life for us in a way that makes it appear as if it is ‘out there’, when truly the process is operating entirely within us. Consciousness is the metaphorical hot water that brews tea. If our thoughts are the dried tea leaves, consciousness is the expanse of water that takes on the taste, colour and smell of a cup of tea.
This is the nature of consciousness, it does it regardless of what leaves you throw in. The same way hot water added to chamomile, peppermint, oolong, and rooibos produce teas that look, taste and smell different, consciousness brings our thoughts to life, producing a variety of experiences that look, sound and feel different. In both cases the process is the same, all that changes is the resulting experience.
Insecure, anxious, excited, angry, or joyous feeling states depend solely on what thoughts we’re thinking at any given moment. Every feeling we’ve ever had has been brought to us through this gift of awareness.
We feel thoughts as though they are true, and so naturally we fall for the illusion that they are true in some objective sense. Our thoughts are not reflections of our outside world, they simply look that way.
Thoughts are temporary energy that appears in our psychological system, gets brought to life within us through consciousness, and disappears into whence it came. Which is probably the coolest thing ever, and yet the hardest to wrap your head around because it’s so profoundly different than what we’ve been taught. We’ve been taught to trust the illusion.
So when we have insecure thinking we can become aware that that isn’t an accurate reflection of reality. We don’t need to pay attention to those thoughts to factor their “information” into our decisions about life.
They are simply creations of our thinking: things we have imagined, what ifs we have stressed about, hypotheticals we have worried about… and they’re all made up! All of them. That’s just how thought works.
Because they look like actual things we need to stress about, what ifs we’d be stupid not to prepare for and hypotheticals that deserve our time and consideration, we suffer.
We’re not suffering because of the thoughts, we’re suffering because of our relationship to the thoughts. We’re suffering because we’re taking the thoughts seriously, believing them to be true, and misunderstanding where they come from. It’s all so innocent, but this misunderstanding is the cause of our suffering.
Luckily, insecurity is not something you need to “work on”. You don’t have to spend hours talking about your insecure thoughts, getting caught up in the details. Therapy is not the answer. Wrestling with your mind is not the answer.
Taking seriously what has already been created isn’t going to help you wake up to the fact that we’re constantly creating. The water is always boiling. The tea is constantly being brewed.
You don’t have to do anything with your thoughts. Really. Understanding where your experience is coming from takes care of that for you.
The system is never stagnant. Whenever we step back from obsessing over our specific thoughts and allow space in our minds, new thought arises. That new thought is infinite creative potential, it could make any kind of tea you could imagine, just in case you were getting sick of drinking your insecuritea.
A fresh experience, a new taste of life, is just a thought away.