There’s a paradox I’m seeing more deeply lately, that brings with it an enormous feeling of relief: giving up is how I get what I’m looking for.
I’ve been spending a lot of time lately hanging out and exploring the unknown. Asking the big questions. Getting quiet. Going inwards.
The unknown is this gorgeous space of pure possibility. It’s essentially what we have yet to discover, to learn, to be made aware of.
It’s a place where all my ideas of myself, others, life, work, and health are getting gently placed aside so I can see what else there is to see.
Something outside the box of everything I already think, believe, assume and “know”.
And as often happens when I’m sitting in the unknown, new things eventually become known.
That space gets filled with so much clarity, love, peace and joy that I sometimes find myself in tears.
But what I’ve come to see is that the more I “try to hang out in the unknown to get my answers” the less answers I get.
The more I try to think different thoughts than what I currently think, the more I tend to keep thinking the same things.
The more I feel like I need to figure something out, the less figuring out happens.
The more I feel I need to know like right now because time is of the essence and I don’t have days, weeks or months to wait, the longer the wait is and the more my urgency gets in the way.
The secret? Give up.
If I want answers I have to stop trying to get answers.
If I want different thoughts than what I’m currently getting I have to stop trying to get different thoughts.
If I want to figure something out I have to stop trying to figure it out.
If I want to know anything that’s currently unknown I have to stop trying to know anything.
It’s so simple it’s almost too good to be true.
When I’m sitting at my desk with my notebook trying to make a plan, get some answers, figure some things out, I end up feeling more stuck, more frustrated and more hopeless than when I started.
As soon as I resign, the magic happens.
When I truly accept that I don’t know and that’s okay, I go for a walk to get pizza, or put on some music and take a shower, or sit by the fire and just let my mind go blank… and that’s when I get what I’m looking for.
The answer appears. The solution is obvious. The new thought shows up. The situation gets figured out.
And I didn’t have to do a single thing but give up and go enjoy my life, however that looks in the moment.
There’s a reason I have my best ideas on the chairlift. Or why I often pause the tv show to jot down a brilliant idea. Or why hiking through the forest does wonders for my clarity of mind.
New, fresh thought is the default. When we’re not getting in the way by “trying” to get it, we just simply get it.
Could life be any more simple? 😉