Why Am I Not Getting It?

This week I got emailed the really good (and really common) question: why am I not getting it and how can I improve my chances of insight?

I wanted to share my response because there’s something all of us can see in this, whether we’re feeling mega stuck or like we just want to get out of our way more:

Hi lovely,
What a great question! I think a lot of people wonder this and I’m going to do a video on it for the new program (A Fresh Life) because it comes up so often!

Here’s how it looks to me: Most of us try to take in this understanding as we do subjects in school.

We try to remember the key points, take notes and compare/contrast it with what we already know… oftentimes we don’t even know we’re doing this because it’s simply how we were taught to learn.

But what keeps it from sinking in at a deeper level is we’re not listening to get impacted, we’re listening to learn it intellectually: as facts, information and concepts.

What I mean by listening to learn is that we’ve been taught to use our personal thinking to learn things.

Yet our personal thinking is the very thing that’s keeping us from deeply feeling the truth of who we are. The only thing that gets in the way of love, truth, beauty, aliveness, our true nature… is our personal thinking.

So we’re using our personal thinking (aka our intellect) to learn about our personal thinking (aka our intellect), and then wonder why can’t see beyond the intellect.

Can you see how that’s counterproductive?

It’s really not our fault… we were taught to think about everything even though thinking about everything is the worst way to learn anything.

Take young kids for example, they don’t know they’re supposed to “study” or “learn” or “remember” so they just go through life being curious and open and before you know it they’re talking, walking, creating, and fully engaging in life.

They learn like sponges, soaking up the world around them. They never took notes or stopped to think about what they’re learning or how to process the information.

As a result learning happens naturally by osmosis, by feeling, by the ‘click’ of common sense that’s built-in to all of us since day one.

As adults we forget how to listen and learn in this very natural way. So we try to listen and try to learn which is counterproductive. But for the trying it would naturally be happening without our input or effort.

Trying to learn is the main thing getting in the way of learning.

But for our trying to get it, or trying to learn it, or trying to have insights, or trying to let it sink it, it would just be sinking in, we would be having insights, we would just be getting it more and more.

So as counterintuitive as it seems, if you want to “get it” more, you have to stop trying to get it.

You have to hear the things you’re hearing and read the things you’re reading as though you’re listening to good music or reading a fiction novel: approach it full of fascination and curiosity instead of analyzing and thinking.

The actual timing of insights is totally out of our control, you cannot make them happen but fortunately you don’t need to: they’re built-in to the system and bound to happen when we get out of the way.

So if you’re trying to “get it”, give yourself a huge break and then another, even bigger break for good measure. Give yourself the biggest break you’re humanly capable of.

There’s nothing to get. There’s nothing to see.

It’s a paradox because everything you’re looking for is already within you. When you give up trying to “get it” and can be content without it, it tends to show up right before your very nose 🙂

Lots of love xx