Why does it sometimes feel so hard to forgive?
We all have times when forgiveness feels difficult, sometimes even impossible. Because surely better could have been done, and it wasn’t, and that’s not okay.
But seeing the truth of how the human experience works shines a whole new light on forgiveness because it illuminates a key fact: our reality is created through thought, therefore we can only do the best we can with the thinking we have in that moment.
The ‘better’ that could or should have been done is only what we now see from a higher level of consciousness.
Hindsight 20/20, they say.
From a settled mind the big picture is obvious. When our thinking is clear our actions reflect that clarity. When our thinking is cloudy, our actions reflect that confusion.
We all share a default setting of love, peace and well-being that gets reflected in behaviour naturally and effortlessly when thought isn’t distracting us.
But when we’re caught up in insecure, distressed, agitated, anxious thinking… clarity temporarily eludes us.
We see life through the filter of unclear thinking, and act on that temporary reality.
As naturally as healthy behaviour stems from healthy thinking, unhealthy behaviour stems from unhealthy thinking.
Which brings us to the truth that we’re always doing the best we can given our thinking in that moment.
Sure, if we were seeing more clearly we would likely do differently, but we truly, honestly were doing the best we could given how life looked to us in the moment.
In a state of mind of stress, anxiety and depression, the things that occur to us will be very different than what we feel inclined to do from peace, stillness and connection with others.
Seeing the truth that what we all do is directly linked to that moment’s temporary thought-created reality allows us to understand the innocence.
Yes, in theory, better could have been done. But it couldn’t have been done in that moment, from within that temporary reality, at that level of consciousness.
This is why we apologize, express remorse, try to make amends. Because we have the ability to see differently once our mind has settled… but not before it has settled.
We didn’t see it at the time so we did the best we could with what we saw at the time.
Forgiveness, for ourselves and others, doesn’t have to be impossible or even difficult if we’re willing to see the truth of this for ourselves.
Forgiveness is simply the recognition of innocence, the seeing that we’re all up against the same thing: thought masquerading as reality.
We all get caught up, tripped up, fooled, taken for a ride… welcome to the human condition. Having a deeper understanding of what’s going on behind the scenes allows us to reconnect with the truth of our innocence, and forgiveness is the natural result of that realization.