Everyone is born naturally hooked up to the life force. It’s what connects us to each other, animates our spirit and makes being alive even possible. Many of us think of love as the result of finding compatible people with a similar way of being. But what love really is, at least what it looks like to me, is seeing the purest part of yourself reflected in another being.
We are able to see it in others because we all have it; it’s a shared essence. It’s the part we all have in common, that spark of being alive, that vitality, that energy. It’s what separates a corpse from a living being, that universal energy that powers us.
There’s a beautiful translation of the expression ‘namaste’ that’s said to mean ‘when you are in that place in you and I am in that place in me there is only one of us’. That is love. Love is seeing what is essential in another as being the same that is essential in you.
The recognition of this truth allows for healthy relationships to be built on a foundation of what never changes. Relationships built on the ideas of our psychology, of having the same preferences, living in the same place, having the same hobbies, having the same group of friends and having common interests is a relationship that is built on a foundation of what is in flux, instead of what is always true.
It’s the difference between building a castle on stone as opposed to building a castle on sand. When there is that underlying foundation of seeing yourself in another and another in you, there is stability and sustainability.
When built on temporary ideas that we’re attaching and identifying with, the relationship tends to fizzle out as soon as people change their mind.
This is the definition of conditional love, as long as the conditions are met, there will be love; when things change, the love will change. Just like a sand castle, all it takes is some external conditions to change and things begin to crumble.
What makes love so powerful and why I reckon we naturally tend towards being in relationships with other human beings is simply because when we are in touch with that deeper place in us, we draw it out in others and feel it amplified in ourselves.
Two beings in love are two people very close to home base, in the present moment, feeling their natural state, and having that amplified through connection with another. We are all inherently connected because we are all inherently made of the same stuff, this universal energy and intelligence.
Contrary to what many of us believe connection is not something that results from compatible ideas, putting in an effort to win someone over or being “nice to them”. It’s not something we can only have with select people. When humans are in their natural state they are infinitely more similar to each other than when they are in any other state of mind like anger, anxiety or jealousy.
The thing that takes us away from this natural home base of peacefulness, love and wisdom is that we get caught up in our personal thinking and believe it to be true. When we allow that to settle down, let it be and let it go, the deeper source of connection is right there. Like the sun behind the clouds it simply exists by default.
This deep shared place of love inside ourselves is what we’re feeling when we feel in love with someone. It comes from us, not from another and yet because it’s a shared essence both people can resonate with, feel and rest in that place of our true nature.